I made a mistake.
For over three years, I have considered, and thought, and
reflected on how I got to where I am now, personally, professionally,
politically. The journey has been a long one – as is true for most people my age
– and fraught with failures, miscalculations, and yes, mistakes.
My mistake happened in November, 2016… and I am recalled to
a short exchange from an episode of the short-lived television show Firefly:
Harken: Seems odd you'd name
your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
See, I supported Bernie Sanders in 2016, all the way up to
the Democratic Convention. I believe he was railroaded by the established DNC
powers-that-be, who peddled influence through Super-Delegates and kept him from
being the candidate, even though he had proven to be more popular than Hillary
Clinton.
But perhaps I should go back further, where it all begins
for me.
I grew up in a predominantly conservative family, town,
school, and political climate. My father was friends with a local state
representative, and even worked for his reelection campaign a few times. In
1984, I came of age for my first election cycle, and believed the hype about
Reaganomics and how the conservatives of the GOP were looking out for “We the
People” and protecting us from the evil regimes – especially that of the Soviet
Union and its bloc of allies. At the time, I proudly voted for Reagan – and
would probably do so again, considering the political climate of the time, and
what I know now, nearly 40 years later.
I remained registered as a Republican for many years,
through my military service and after my medical discharge, the Clinton Years,
and even the “hanging chad” of the 2000 cycle. Looking back on this, perhaps
Bill Clinton was a slightly better candidate – and President – than I gave him
credit for then; but to this day I still believe Hillary actually ran things;
she wore the pants in that relationship because he couldn’t keep his on…
I did have some reservations about George W. Bush,
considering how divided the country became after Al Gore lost due to
questionable balloting, and the results being determined in the Supreme Court.
I’m not convinced Gore was the better candidate, but I could sense then there
was a growing divisiveness in our country. By the time September 11th
happened and the ensuing combat operations in the Middle East and Asia since
then – not to mention the question of “Weapons of Mass Destruction” coming into
play – I was seriously concerned with the direction which the country and the
Republican Party were heading.
In 2008, I switched parties. The GOP no longer seemed to
represent what I felt, and the representation which had started to form with
the “Contract for America” and the Tea Party was falling far short of where I
felt the country should be heading now that we were fully ensconced in the 21st
century.
Of course, there was Hillary, too, which in hindsight was a
little petty of me, but as I mentioned above, I felt she already had her eight
years while her husband ran around with his pants at his ankles. Barack Obama
was a true breath of fresh air, with progressive but not radical ideas to
improve our country. He spoke to everyone, with open ideas that did not reflect
a division of race, creed, or religion, but instead an attempt at unification
across all differences.
I had thought I might switch back in 2012, but in the first
four years of President Obama’s tenure, I realized just how different my
underlying beliefs were as compared to the Republicans in power – and those who
were showing support for that side of the aisle. This also got me thinking back
to my high school days, where I took a class called “Comparative Ideologies” which
discussed the many forms of government and economic systems from history
through the current era. From despots and monarchs, through dictatorships,
variations of democracy, fascism, socialism and communism, everything was
touched upon. This included the difference of a political system and an
economic one (democracy vs. socialism/communism).
The light shone on that 17-year old boy, but it would take
thirty years for it to cultivate.
Socialism. This is the buzzword which sends conservatives –
and even many moderates – into apoplectic fits. It was used during the Cold War
– along with Communism – as a label for our enemies. Russia was called the
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (see? It even had Socialist in its name, it
MUST be bad…). And China turned to Communism under Mao Tse-Tung. What we
learned of these two countries, the history of their violent revolutions to
become the “terrible enemy of the free world” – was almost all one-sided
propaganda to galvanize Western support against these countries and their
allies.
I won’t go into the history of it all now, but suffice it to
say some forms of communism and socialism have failed – and failed hard. But
others have done well, balancing the democratic rule of The People with the
economic designs of social responsibility. Capitalism runs rampant, with the
rich getting richer at the expense of the poor. The American Dream is turning
into a nightmare, as the disparity between the top wealth and what used to be
considered the middle class grows.
The current trend for the liberal, progressive side is to
promote a social responsibility of corporations and the rich. This is the
socialism which is becoming the foundation of this movement. Such shared
responsibility for the economic, physical, and (for lack of a better word)
spiritual well-being of the country is what is intended. It isn’t an attempt to
destroy the bourgeois elite and prevent progress and advancement of
personal worth, but instead the understanding that we are all connected,
together on this planet, and working together in a shared system is better for
everyone than the greed and divisive nature that has pervaded our society as a
whole, and this country specifically.
My mistake in 2016 was not realizing the depths of this
realization, and how unity of “We The People “has been affected for decades by
the infighting not just across party lines, but within each party as well. This
led me to falling into the trap of believing all voices have a say in how our
country works, and the dissenting “third party” votes might actually make a
difference.
Well, actually, they did.
While Hillary did win the popular vote by nearly 3 million
votes, there were another 6 million which went to “Third Party” candidates. Had
these votes been cast for Hillary instead, it is entirely possible they would
have changed the outcome of that election. But, this dissenting vote, which did
not like either candidate, is a big reason why Trump is occupying the Oval
Office.
Four years ago, neither the Democratic nor Republican Party
offered a viable candidate that could truly unite the country. Because of this,
Trump managed to play the electoral game to his advantage – and the detriment
of the country. Hillary may have been the more popular candidate, but so many
of us felt uneasy about her going back to the White House it was difficult to
reconcile our thoughts and feelings.
So we made the mistake, failed the country, by “throwing our
vote away” to protest the unworthy candidates.
This year, the Democratic Party has many good candidates,
and as the primary season begins, there are already a few surprises and more
hope felt throughout the party than before. With the momentum started in 2018
when the House was flipped, and now the Impeachment process which was never properly
executed in the Senate – not to mention the continued protestations from Trump –
there is even more hope the nation will change, and with this change we can
heal.
I apologize to Hillary Clinton, and my fellow Democrats, for
not sticking by the party four years ago. This year I am weighing my options
carefully before the Pennsylvania Primary near the end of April, but no matter
who gets the final nod at the Convention, it is time to move forward from hate
and division, and once again unite the country for progress – socially,
economically, and spiritually.
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